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Ripped By mstoll
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It's very quiet tonight.
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- Too quiet.
- Eh?
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I don't like it. It's too quiet.
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- It's the lull before...
- Don't say it!
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What's wrong? I was only
going to say it's the...
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Shut up!
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Don't say it, it's bad luck.
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There's an old
Celtic superstition
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which says that if you say...
if you use that expression,
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then surely something
terrible will happen.
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What, lull before the storm?
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Badvoc!
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Ah, there you are, Badvoc,
you hairy bum-faced toad!
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- Thank you, Blag.
- Ey up, Badvoc! It's me!
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It's your old friend Morli of the
Iken come to pay you a visit.
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How the bleeding hell are you, you
festered old bag of cow crap?
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Here, may the gods visit a virulent pig pox
on your stinking scabby cabbage head, eh?
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Just a social call,
is it, Morli?
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Ey up, Badvoc, aren't you
going to introduce me?
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Who are these sub humans?
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- They call me Mungo the Shrugger.
- Why's that?
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And this is Blag.
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How very interesting. We don't
have any hills where I come from.
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So what are you doing here
dressed like an emperor's tart?
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Well, you see, Badvoc.
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- I am now a member of the Roman nobility.
- You what?
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- Well, you remember my sister Pergola?
- Oh yeah.
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She rather cleverly got herself
married to a Roman praetor,
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which made me very, very rich.
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Here, have this bag of money and go and
buy yourself a new cesspit to live in.
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I don't live here. I come to have a
drink and play dice with the boys.
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I live in that flash villa
in the middle of the square.
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- Really?
- I thought that villa was Aulus's...
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Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ooh!
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- What did he say?
- It's an old Chelmsford folk song.
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Blag's entered a singing competition.
He's practising.
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I can't hang about here. I can't be
seen hanging about with scum like you.
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I tell you what, why don't you
pop over to my place sometime
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and have a dip in my
solid gold heated pool?
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- See you, lads.
- Cheers then.
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Mind how you go. Keep in touch.
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I don't believe it! Morli!
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Just cos his sister is being
personally invaded by Romans.
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My sister can marry the governor
Aulus Paulinus tomorrow.
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Here, I've just had
a brilliant idea.
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My sister marries Aulus, I get rich quick.
What do you think, Mungo?
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Breathtakingly simple.
One quibble.
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- What?
- You haven't got a sister.
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That is a very negative attitude to
take, Mungo. I can get a sister.
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Here, I got a sister.
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Yeah...
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With all due respect,
Blag, I can't really
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see Aulus falling in
love with your sister.
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Nature hasn't been
kind to her, has she?
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Nah, I got all the looks
and brains in my family.
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Ah, Grasientus, spring, my
favourite time of year.
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A time of rebirth.
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I want to frolic
in forest glades.
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I want to bathe naked
in crystal pools.
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I want to sing with the skylark as she
soars on high. But most of all...
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- You want a quick...
- Exactly.
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It's been a year now. A year
of involuntary celibacy.
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I'm about as horny as a
rhinoceros and a unicorn
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in a "Who's got the biggest
horn?" competition.
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You're not exactly spoiled for
choice round here, are you?
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The British girls are
either ugly, ugly or ugly.
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They don't have to be British.
I'm mad with
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lust. She could be
Greek, Syrian, Spanish.
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- Belgian.
- I'm not that mad.
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Anyway, Grasientus, don't you feel
spring coursing through your veins?
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Don't you get the odd
bout of tentpole toga?
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Happily I am not a slave to
that part of my anatomy, Aulus.
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Just as well because you are, with
all due respect, an ugly bastard.
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Yes, all right, I know that I'm
a worthless unlovable wretch.
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No woman could ever love me.
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I'm boring, ill tempered, malodorous
and totally without any merit.
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What's the point?
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Grasientus, I've been thinking about
what you were saying in there.
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Yes.
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About you being worthless and
boring and all that stuff.
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- Well?
- Well!
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You left out repellent.
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Right, now, the idea is you're my
sister, you're attractive, sexy,
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and you're going to seduce
the Roman governor.
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- In your own time.
- Hello, Roman.
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Fancy a good time?
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Yeah, I think we've seen enough, dear.
Thanks.
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- Have I got the job?
- We'll let you know.
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Here, I'm very good in the sack.
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I'm sure you are, yeah. Blag,
go and put her in a sack.
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So that one's a no, then, is it?
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Listen, you do understand the
point of this little exercise?
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Yeah. You want to find a girl so Aulus
can fall in love with her and marry her.
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Precisely. The key words are "so Aulus can
fall in love with her and marry her".
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I can't see Aulus falling in love
with any of the women so far.
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We've had a bald
hag with no teeth,
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a hairy hag with lots of teeth,
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and a normal hag
with hairy teeth.
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- Quite a snappy dresser.
- Yeah, green is my favourite colour.
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Not for skin.
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Next!
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This is the last one.
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This is the one, Mungo,
this is the one.
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Do sit down, dear.
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That's right, yeah.
Thanks for popping in.
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Now, what's your name, love?
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Enya, and don't call me love.
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Right, has anyone explained
why you're here?
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Someone said it was to do with pulling
a fast one on the Roman governor.
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Indeed it is, my
dear, indeed it is.
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Good. Cos I hate him.
I hate all Romans.
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You wouldn't get me within
100 miles of a Roman.
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Unless it was to castrate him with
a very blunt and rusty knife.
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Good.
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Good cos in many ways
this job does entail
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castrating the Roman governor
with a blunt and rusty knife.
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Great!
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Er... But we thought we'd lure him
into a false sense of security.
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How do you mean?
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Well, I don't know. Ooh, supposing
you were to marry him. Er...
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Live with him, be the loyal little wifey.
You know, have his kids.
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Perhaps even go back
to Rome with him.
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And then, when the time is right,
say in about 30 or 40 years,
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you whip out the carving
knife and Bob's your auntie.
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No.
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- A thousand pieces of silver.
- I'll do it.
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Excellent. Always nice to work with
someone who's politically committed.
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What are you doing?
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Making a cheese and
onion soufflé.
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- What do you think? I'm hanging myself.
- Why?
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I...
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It's all too much. I feel so desperate.
Lonely. Totally useless.
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I just want to die.
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Please just let me die.
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If you feel that desperate, why
don't you talk to someone?
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I...
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I can't. I just can't talk to anyone.
That's part of the problem.
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I've always been afraid to communicate.
To get close to people.
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So I built up this
wall around me.
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And now I'm trapped, a prisoner
inside this hideous shell.
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- You know what you should do?
- What?
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Hang yourself.
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You know, I never thought I'd find myself
laughing with a British serving girl.
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00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,832
And I never thought I'd find
myself laughing with a Roman.
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Suddenly this all
seems so silly.
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I'll get some wine.
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What a charming girl.
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But for her I could be hanging
here as dead as a... Argh!
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Grasientus!
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These reports from
Caledonia, Grasientus.
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- What do you think?
- Argh!
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Well, that's very easy for you to say
but I mean what about the long term?
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- Help!
- Help is what we need but I don't know.
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Oh, my God, this is awful!
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- Oh, tell me about it. It's tragic.
- No, look, it's him, he's dying!
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- Good heavens! Hello!
- Help me get him down!
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- Who are you?
- I'm Enya, the new serving girl.
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00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,110
I'm Aulus, the governor.
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- No!
- Guards!
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Can you cut this down, please?
It's wasting good rope.
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00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:06,992
- How could you be so heartless?
- It's a gift. Right, take him away.
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You poor thing, are
you all right?
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He says that to all the girls.
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So, you're the new
serving girl, are you?
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- Yes.
- Hmm.
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00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:24,508
Sorry, I always get a bit tongue-tied when
I'm in the presence of a very pretty girl.
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I... I just... always seem to
end up saying the wrong thing.
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Really?
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Fancy a quick poke?
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Oh, there I go again!
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00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,039
Your sister?
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00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:49,115
That's incredible. I've fallen in
love with a blood relative of yours.
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00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:50,673
I know, it's amazing.
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00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:53,871
A charming, beautiful,
gentle creature like her
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related to a clumsy, uncouth,
foul-smelling oaf like you.
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Yeah.
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00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,358
- An angel related to a hog-like buffoon.
- Yeah.
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00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,153
- A goddess...
- Yeah, all right. I get the point.
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00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:07,510
Strange as it may seem,
Badvoc, I am smitten.
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00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:11,439
Don't be ridiculous, Aulus! Next you'll
be saying you want to marry her.
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00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,199
- It's crossed my mind.
- Oh, come off it!
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00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:18,756
Do you realise the implications of that?
You and me would be related.
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00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,360
Isn't that what... Ow!
Ow! Ooh! Ooh!
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00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:25,113
- What did he say? ?? Isn't
that what you ow ow ow!
186
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:30,269
It's an old folk song. Blag's
entered this singing competition.
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00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:33,039
Think about it. How would
it look if we were related?
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00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:35,992
Me a lowly tribe leader
related to you a top Roman.
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00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:38,918
Even that wouldn't bother
me so long as I had Enya.
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00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,350
Well, we'd need some sort
of official contract.
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00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:45,198
- Yes, whatever.
- Some legally binding document.
192
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,958
Some... Oh, look, there's one.
193
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:52,869
Sign along the dotted line, Aulus,
that's lovely. Yes, that's it.
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00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,639
As far as I'm concerned the
marriage can go ahead.
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00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:59,355
You don't seem to understand.
I love her, she hates me.
196
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,436
- Eh?
- She hates me!
197
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:05,268
- What's the silly cow playing at?
- Would it help if I slit her throat?
198
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:07,998
I don't think it would, Mungo.
199
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:09,951
Aulus, you say she hates you.
200
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:14,676
- I'll have her thrown out of the villa.
- No, wait. I see what she's playing at.
201
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:16,995
It's classic, this.
It's classic.
202
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:21,670
She just can't cope with the
overwhelming feeling she has for you.
203
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:24,951
If you like, she's frightened
by what she feels for you.
204
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,434
- Which is hate.
- Hate, love, love, hate,
205
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,550
In many ways it's
the same emotion.
206
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,636
I always like to think
of love and hate
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00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:35,116
as opposite sides of the
same emotional coin.
208
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:36,957
I mean, take Blag here.
209
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,877
Often I think I hate him.
210
00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:41,593
But I know deep down I love him.
211
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:45,711
- I think it's the same...
- Do you really love me, Badvoc?
212
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:49,036
- Yeah.
- I mean, it's not just my body, is it?
213
00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:53,279
- No.
- Cos I got a mind too, you know.
214
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:56,596
I'm trying to make a point.
Trying to illustrate something.
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00:12:56,640 --> 00:13:00,076
I don't object to the physical
side of a relationship...
216
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,953
Blag! Folk song rehearsal time.
217
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,355
Ow ow ow!
218
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,914
You've got something with
this love hate business.
219
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,030
Does he stand a chance
in the competition?
220
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,514
Well, it's better than
the German entry.
221
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:34,389
Enya...
222
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,794
Enya, I've got something
to say to you.
223
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,638
Something about... Iove.
224
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:44,148
Oh, yeah? What do you
know about love?
225
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:48,239
Ah! More than you think. I know, for
example, it's a very intense emotion.
226
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:52,475
- Go on.
- Hmm!
227
00:13:54,880 --> 00:14:00,113
And love and hate are opposite
sides of the same emotional coin.
228
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,317
- You could be right.
- Mm.
229
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,430
I believe, Enya,
that you are in love
230
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:12,234
but it's so difficult to express
it because it's so intense.
231
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,995
Yeah! It is!
232
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:19,593
I'm a man of the world, Enya,
I know about these things.
233
00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:25,037
This man you're in love with. He's a...
He's a Roman, isn't he?
234
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,792
Might be!
235
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:32,390
He's a pretty important man
here in Chelmsford, right?
236
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,034
- He is, yeah.
- Oh, Enya!
237
00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:36,911
Wouldn't it be
better if you just
238
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,872
looked him in the eyes and
told him that you loved him?
239
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:45,111
Now, what would you
like to say to him?
240
00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:48,036
I love you, Grasientus.
241
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:52,870
And I love you too, Enya. Oh, tomorrow we
shall be married in the spring meadows.
242
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,592
And the birds... Who?
243
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:56,960
Who?
244
00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:59,797
- Grasientus!
- Grasientus?
245
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:04,118
Badvoc, didn't you want her to
fall in love with... Ow ow ow!
246
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:08,157
Blag, will you practise that
folk song somewhere else.
247
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,839
Boy, rehearse,
rehears, rehearse.
248
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,639
If I may say so, Aulus, I
think you're being naive
249
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:17,752
in your dealings with the
psychology of the opposite sex.
250
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:21,554
- What do you mean?
- Who do you hate most in the world?
251
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,431
- Grasientus.
- Exactly.
252
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:27,758
She claims to love the person you
most detest in the whole world.
253
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:30,030
To inflame your ardour.
254
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,079
Ah, so you mean she's
not in love with him
255
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,270
but just says she is
to make me jealous?
256
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,805
Exactly. I mean,
have you seen any
257
00:15:39,817 --> 00:15:42,314
manifestations of this
so-called young love?
258
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,271
Have you seen them
holding hands,
259
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:47,312
whispering sweet nothings,
swapping love letters?
260
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,511
- No!
- Smearing horse excrement on each other.
261
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,000
No.
262
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:56,919
You've witnessed none of the
normal signs of affection.
263
00:15:56,960 --> 00:16:00,669
Mungo, one day they'll have a
fancy name for your illness.
264
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:04,633
No, I think he has a point. I've
never actually seen them together.
265
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,276
What a clever girl.
To think of it!
266
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:11,915
She's made me feel insanely jealous
of Grasientus of all people.
267
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,599
- Wait till I see her.
- That's the spirit, Aulus.
268
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:19,556
Come on, we deserve a celebratory drink.
Down the boozer.
269
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:23,354
- Good thinking.
- Why don't we go to the theatre instead?
270
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,792
Don't be stupid!
271
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:31,878
If you really loved me you'd do
something I want to do for a change.
272
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:39,038
Enya, you've won
your little game.
273
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,435
And now you can openly
say that you love me
274
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:45,712
and there's nothing between you and
that contemptible wimp Grasientus.
275
00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:49,748
That's no good. Erm...
276
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,873
There's nothing between you and
that apology for a man Grasientus.
277
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:55,956
That's much better.
278
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,639
Right, here goes.
279
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:00,716
Enya, I...
280
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:13,470
That poor girl. The things she'll put
herself through to make me feel jealous.
281
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:19,789
I can't stand it any longer.
Grasientus has become unbearable.
282
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:21,637
Something must be done.
283
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:23,511
Hi, gang!
284
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,200
Agh!
285
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:35,190
Taking a lot out of me, all this...
exercise.
286
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,478
Case of too much bed and
not enough sleep, eh?
287
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:43,911
Hey, what's wrong with you guys?
288
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,871
Hey, cheer up!
289
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:49,230
What you need is to get yourself
fixed up with a nice girl.
290
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:53,831
Or maybe a not so nice girl,
if you know what I mean.
291
00:17:55,400 --> 00:18:00,235
Anyway, guys, my groin has got
an appointment with paradise.
292
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,759
Whoa!
293
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,398
See you around.
294
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:11,032
That was disgusting. Look,
we must do something.
295
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:14,310
- I've just had an idea.
- What?
296
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:17,636
It's a long shot but
it might just work.
297
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,399
You get an enclosed
metal container,
298
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:24,592
fill it with water and
heat it to make steam.
299
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,915
The steam goes down a pipe
300
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:32,398
and forces a piston attached to a
system of levers to a wheel, right?
301
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:38,356
So that eventually you could propel
carriages without the use of horses.
302
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:49,992
Thanks, Blag! I think we've got more
important things to worry about.
303
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:53,516
Horseless carriage?!
304
00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:56,792
Just a thought.
305
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,356
Aulus, you are the governor.
306
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:06,791
You must tell poor Enya the truth
about that snake Grasientus.
307
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:13,591
No, Badvoc, I could not bring
myself to hurt that young girl.
308
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,632
She must never know
the truth about him.
309
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,717
What, you mean that he
already has a wife?
310
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:22,115
- Yes.
- And 300 children.
311
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,797
- Hungry.
- Oh.
312
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,674
Yes, 300 hungry children.
313
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,630
Three hungry children!
314
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:38,878
But Badvoc, this news
will break her heart.
315
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,432
That's my line.
316
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,318
But Badvoc, this news
will break her heart.
317
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:50,509
Aulus, that is your trouble.
You are too soft hearted.
318
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:54,109
Why Enya has not
fallen for you instead
319
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,310
the gods alone know.
320
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:57,634
Look at you.
321
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,477
You are kind, intelligent,
322
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:03,672
caring, sensitive, kind to
animals and very good in bed?
323
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:07,599
That's very, very kind
of you to say so.
324
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:13,670
But she must never find out about
his other women in Chelmsford.
325
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:17,793
- What? Here in Chelmsford?
- Yes.
326
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:20,877
Does fat Enid ring a bell?
327
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,309
- She has to cos of the leprosy.
- Just...
328
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,470
Not fat Enid?
329
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,988
Yes, and a host of others.
330
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,918
- Went like a dream, Aulus.
- I thought you were very good.
331
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:42,313
Well, if our little plan has worked
the path should now be clear.
332
00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:44,032
- He's coming.
- How does he look?
333
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:47,277
Like someone who's been forced
at knifepoint to watch his puppy
334
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:49,436
be skewered on the end
of a red-hot poker.
335
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,909
Sorry about your puppy.
336
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:02,749
What?
337
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:07,078
- Something wrong, Grasientus?
- It's Enya. She's left me.
338
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:09,395
Oh no!
339
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:14,392
- Look. I'll have a private word with her.
- She's left Chelmsford.
340
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,749
- Well... What?
- She wrote me this letter.
341
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,472
Let me read it.
342
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,630
"Dear Grasientus, I'm sorry to tell
you but you and I are finished.
343
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,989
It would never have
worked out between us.
344
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:28,554
First of all I'm not
Badvoc's real sister.
345
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,558
It was just a rouse so Badvoc
could get rich quick."
346
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,956
- The woman's obviously mad.
- "No, I am not mad, Badvoc.
347
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,912
I must say that I feel sorry
for you, my dear Grasientus,
348
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:42,316
and I feel sorry too for Badvoc
for he is an incompetent oaf.
349
00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:47,592
And I also feel sorry for
Aulus because he is a s...
350
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:50,630
Blah blah blah. Love Enya.
351
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,750
P.S. Thank you for
that night of passion.
352
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,837
I've never made love eight
times in one night before.
353
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,237
P.P.S. Tell Aulus and Badvoc
354
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,113
their pathetic trick to put
me off you didn't work."
355
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,071
Well, we must be off, Aulus.
356
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:09,315
So she wasn't your
real sister, Badvoc.
357
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:11,669
I know! I'm as shocked
as you are, Aulus.
358
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,833
I mean, she's been lying
to me all these years.
359
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:20,077
Me, her own brother. Shock's
going to kill her mother.
360
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:24,434
We must listen to Blag
rehearse his folk song.
361
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:27,597
But I don't know any...
Ow! Ow! Ow!
362
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:31,390
If that boy doesn't win...
363
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,478
- Well, she was a wonderful girl.
- Yes, she was.
364
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:39,115
To think I was on the point of hanging
myself and then she came along
365
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,594
and transported me
into erotic ecstasy.
366
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:45,428
- Eight times in one night.
- Yes, all right.
367
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:50,270
Eight times I enjoyed her
soft, yielding body.
368
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,356
You're going to keep
going, aren't you?
369
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,755
At the height of her
passion she would cry out,
370
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,916
"Take me, Grasientus, take me."
371
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:01,156
And then she would moan
softly like a young fawn
372
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,430
as I kissed her
exquisite breasts.
373
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:08,554
- And her long, lissom legs...
- Grasientus, do me a favour, will you?
374
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:10,238
What?
375
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:17,998
Kick this stool away.
Ripped By mstoll